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Tuesday, 24 December 2013 18:26

Santa Claus Acquired by Koch Brothers in Hostile Takeover, Sleigh Runs on Tar Sands Oil

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 asanta12 5

Santa’s factory is troubled at the North Pole. 
A new economic model at last has taken a toll.
The old fellow finally has the temerity to confess, 
 even in Red states his elves couldn’t make less.

No incentive, no merriment, an absence of wages,
slave labor has replaced good will for all of the ages. 
As Santa is forlorn, and the elves are all broke, 
he has been acquired by the brothers Koch.

They employ their economic model as the cruelest one,
and believe they can sell it as unions are done. 
Santa is changing his route and what he delivers 
in a way that should give most children shivers. 
 His sleigh piled with rubies, diamonds and gold,
there’s only a 1% delivery list this year, 
 loaded with real estate stolen not sold.

As it is sure to disappoint many a child and waif,
 precautions will be taken to keep Santa safe. 
As TV follows Santa’s trek through the skies, 
war planes will escort him wherever he flies. 

NORAD has said that it will do just that, 
blasting away any nasty revenge seeking 99% brat. 
Indeed, the teary-eyed tykes will hear as he flies out of sight: 
“A miserly Christmas to most, alas, we're blitzin' far right."  


(Photo: Sam Howzit)