Facebook Slider


Optional Member Code
Get News Alerts!
Monday, 14 August 2006 02:47

Cliff Rowland: Decepticons, Republicants, and Duhpublicons

  • font size decrease font size decrease font size increase font size increase font size
  • Print
  • Email

by Cliff Rowland

Gee, I'd like to thank John Boehner for declaring open season for
pejorative neohomophones with his recent characterization of anti war
Democrats as "Defeatocrats."

We cannot let the evil "Decepticons" triumph. Let's get one for the Zipper (Oops, sorry Bill, but your campaign for Lieberman took me back to those halcyon days). There are plain old Decepticons, NeoDecepticons and PaleoDecepticons. Then there are their media buddies the Decepticonjobs.

Or we could take a line from my cat. He's pretty sure his food comes in "cants," because if they were really "cans" he could open them and feed himself. That leads us to "Republicants" - can't catch Osama; can't win the war in Iraq; can't help people after a hurricane; can't be trusted with Social Security. You get the idea, there's a whole slew of specific Republicants. The general attributes of Republicants may be more telling. Can't tell the truth. Can't tell right from wrong. Can't be trusted.

Republicants and Decepticons morph into "Republicons." These are plain old Republicon Felons like Jack Abramoff, Robert Ney, Tom DeLay and Duke Cunningham. Not to be forgotten are the NeoRepublicons who haven't earned their stripes, yet. Feith, Perl, Wolfowictz, Bolton, "Scooter," Cheney, Addington "Rummy" and Gonzales.

Duhbya might rate a separate category, Duhpublicons. As in Duh, I didn't think when I lied us into war that people would remember. Duh, I didn't think when I swore to uphold the Constitution that anybody thought that meant anything. Duh, I didn't think torture would come back to haunt us. Duh, I didn't think there was anything wrong with bankrupting the country for my rich buddies. Duh, I didn't think very much or very often. Duh, Duh, Duhbya.

Thank you, and a tip of the hat to John Boehner.

Cliff Rowland