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Friday, 20 March 2009 03:35

BuzzFlash's Sour 16 wrapup for the first week in the Republican Race to the Bottom

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If you are new to our Madness parody, don't fear. There is still plenty of time to have fun and play along with our Sour 16 tournament. Still plenty of Republicans to frighten us with their evil. 

The Sour 16 is now down to the Terrible 12. We just finished our first week of the first annual BuzzFlash Republican Race to the Bottom. So we are going to recap the matches in a way hopefully more exciting than the American Idol results show (and a lot shorter in length).

We showed off our top seeds in the first two days: Karl Rove and Dick Cheney. And you definitely felt like we picked really evil top seeds. Rove crushed John McCain, gaining 94% of the vote, on Monday. And Cheney destroyed Newt Gingrich with 93% of the vote on Tuesday.

McCain and Gingrich have multiple levels of evil, yet they were no match for super-evil.

Wednesday saw our only upset of the week. We had Michele Bachmann as our #3 seed. What she lacked in history of craziness she made up in intensity. But history was more important as Alberto Gonzales pulled off the upset as the #6 seed with 74% of the vote.  

Our other 3-6 matchup was on Thursday, with talk show host and tantrum thrower Bill O'Reilly handily downing the up-and-coming rookie Bobby Jindal with 87% of the vote. Might be a different story five years from now, but for now, O'Reilly came out on top.

So half of the Elitist 8 is all set: a week from now, Karl Rove will take on Alberto Gonzales in a titanic struggle of Busheviks. Dick Cheney takes on Bill O'Reilly in a display of talking that will leave people screaming for less, not more.

Before then, we have the second half of our first round, and we do have some dandies. Monday's matchup is a battle of 4-5 seeds with the higher seed, the classic Hammer Tom DeLay, engaging with the SCOTUS Federalist Foursome, otherwise known as RATS -- Roberts, Alito, Thomas, Scalia.

No rest for Tuesday, as insanity combines with evil in Ann Coulter vs. the always tan, always clueless John Boehner.

Perhaps the best is saved for the final half of the first round: George W. Bush, the Decider, tangling with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell on Wednesday. The final 1st round matchup will make you want to gather the kids but not let them watch: Rush Limbaugh against Sarah Palin.

Don't forget you can follow along with the bracket and play along. We continue with 4 great battles next Monday-Thursday with another wrapup on Friday. Check out BuzzFlash.com every day for updates. Your favorite basketball team may already be eliminated from that other tournament, but with our Sour 16, there will always be evil Republicans to root against.

Check out the original bracket and play along

Game 1: Rove vs. McCain 94-6

Game 2: Cheney vs. Gingrich 93-7

Game 3: Bachmann vs. Gonzales 74-26

Game 4: O'Reilly vs. Jindal 87-13