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David Jay Morris for BuzzFlash: Trump Stole Our Stuff

The Thief-in-Chief of Mar-a-Lago: Donald Trump. (Thomas Hawk)

August 14, 2022

By David Jay Morris

Trump stole our stuff!

Imagine, if you will, that you are the owner of a large house with several tenants.

It’s a nice place, so you’ve got a staff…some servants.

Let’s say that one of them is a butler, gardener, pastry cook or whatever.

He’s a real creep and completely incompetent at his job. Nobody likes him. 

After his four-year contract is at last at an end, you fire him at once.  It’s a massive relief to be rid of him but, true to form, it takes months to finally get him to move out of his quarters. In the end you had to call the police.

A few months down the road, you do an inventory and find that on his way out the door, he must have walked off with a large quantity of silverware, some of your wife’s jewelery, half your collection of antique watches and a Ming vase or two.

Worse, one of your tenants is in the witness protection program with a price on his head.  The mob has ordered a hit and if he can be located it’s likely to be curtains for him.

A copy of his scheduled movements prepared for the Marshal Service and a spare key to his private entrance are also found to be missing.

Wanting to let bygones be bygones, you contact your disgraced former employee, and offer him the chance to avoid the most serious consequences if he returns everything he stole without delay.

But delay he does.

Months of prevacation and negotiations with your insurance adjusters follow before he finally agrees to your terms.

A team is then sent to his new home in Florida bought with his deceased father’s money and collects 15 boxes of your things.

Nobody imagined there would have been so much.

And then…

An accounting is done and you find that some of the most important items are still missing, including information that could lead to the murder of your tenant.

You bring in the FBI.

They interview the former guy’s cronies and learn that he still has another big pile of your stuff squirreled away in his basement.

A high-ranking agent meets with him and gives him one last chance to cough up the rest of the goods.

Being who he is, he doesn’t.

The case being so obvious, a search warrant is immediately granted by a magistrate the moment it is requested.

The house is “raided”.

Your property is recovered.

And your former servant is frog marched off to the big house.

Now, let’s take away for the moment the pomp and circumstances of the presidency and all our discussion of how official documents are classified and the possible national security implications of Trump’s grotesque mistreatment of government documents.

What we are left with is basically the exact same story as the one I outlined above.

Trump was a public servant.

Our servant.

For four years, he lived in our house, the White House, and his salary was paid by us – the American people.

Nothing he didn’t buy himself was his.

It all belonged to us.

And, just like the villain in my story, when he was forced to leave, he walked off with a bunch of our most valuable property.

The only real difference between him and the protagonist of my story is that he has yet to be carted off in handcuffs.

Let’s hope that happens soon.

If none of the other charges he appears to be facing stick, how about adding grand larceny to the list?

After all - Trump stole our stuff.

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