The Actual "Faux" "Bone Spurs" President of the United States is Jealous of Dog's Positive Press. That's Because the Dog Showed Courage.
February 21st 2020
Donald Trump (Gage Skidmore)
By Aldous J Pennyfarthing
How insecure do you have to be to get jealous of a dog’s news clippings? Well, exactly this insecure (second tweet):
“Remember the dog, great dog Conan? When we took out … Right? We love Conan. Conan’s a tough dog. But when we took out al-Baghdadi, Conan — remember this? — Conan got more publicity than President Trump. That’s okay. They were looking for al-Baghdadi for 16 years. We found him and we took him out.”
For those of you who don’t speak fluent Trump, “that’s okay” precisely translates to …
And I have no doubt Conan the Dog had a fuckuvalot more to do with finding and eliminating Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi than Donald Trump did. At the very least he didn’t get out of the raid by faking bone spurs, or whatever the canine equivalent of being a mewling silver-spoon coward is.
Also, as anyone who’s ever met (or seen) the guy knows, any mission planning session will go far more smoothly without Trump at the table. I imagine sitting in the Situation Room with Trump is a little like sharing a womb with a third-trimester dingo fetus. Uncomfortable at a minimum, and disturbing and dangerous if the dingo happens to get angry.
So, yeah. This is your president. He can’t let anyone else get the credit for anything — not even a cute, brave, loyal dog.
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